This is not a satire article, although we wish it was. R. Rex Parris, mayor of Lancaster is pushing a proposal to ban neckties in the workplace. He came up with the idea after reading a science blog that claimed neckties restrict 7.5 percent of blood flow to the brain.

“I spend a lot of hours every week on an elliptical or a bike just to increase blood flow to my brain, and it turns out every morning when I put on a tie I’m diminishing it,” Parris explained.

“I don’t think it’s appropriate in America today to make anyone do something that is now known to be detrimental to your health. Especially if it’s based on gender,” Parris continued. “I’m aware I’m going out on a ledge, but I live my life on ledges. We’re interested in going in a positive direction until we’re stopped.”

Passing a ban on workplace neckties would face a slippery slope. There is no real precedent for a government body trying such a thing so it remains to be seen if it would pass legal muster.

Also, one has to wonder why the mayor is spending his valuable time on such a ridiculous thing. But then again, maybe his time isn’t all that valuable after all.